Monday, March 11, 2013

Training for a Half Marathon (week 1)

I am a sick freak: I love to run. Back in 2006, I was training for the Salt Lake City Marathon and because of health problems I had to drop out a week before the race. The best part of that story is that on the day of the race, the physician who checked me said that he changed his mind and that I actually could run the race after all. By then it was too late and I had already talked myself out of it mentally. When you’re running a race, it is 10% physical and 90% mental.
Now here I am in 2013 and the world has changed. Marathons, which used to be labeled insanely twisted by the public, are now embraced and trendy. Do you know how I feel about trends? Ask me sometime.

Biggest Loser Contestants
Two Seasons ago on The Biggest Loser the season finale included all the contestants running a marathon. Some contestants ran, some walked, but sooner or later they all finished. The message I received from that episode was that any fat slob can run a marathon. Now all of my old relatives and in-laws are running marathons and encouraging me to participate. With this in mind I hope you can understand why I am reluctant to train for another marathon.

Last October I participated in 5K. Now I am currently training for the Thanksgiving Point Half Marathon. My wife keeps encouraging me and I figured while I was wrestling with indecision that it would be better to train and compete in a race and say it’s lame then to never do it. It makes my reviews on this blog more valid and personal. This is why I will most likely be doing a marathon after this race is completed in the near future.

Here is a copy of my training schedule for the half marathon:
Orem Rec Center Track
My equipment includes running shorts, Nike shoes, a stopwatch, and a pedometer to track my distance. I train at the Orem Rec Center; most of the time I am down on their basement track, sometimes--if I feel like it--I use their tread mills.

 Now I am into my third week of training this is how week one went:

Three Saturdays ago while running 5 miles on the track I started off at a slow pace and then thanks to some fellow patrons I sped up.

Let me categorize the patrons I run with:

The soccer mom
The soccer mom: complete with her huge number of children with bad behavior that surround her.

The burnout runner
The burnout runner: the person who sits and waits at the rest stop for a few laps and then darts out in front of you, running as fast as they can to make them feel like they are beating you.

The confused geriatric
The confused geriatric: the one that looks like they are about 90 years old and are walking in the opposite direction in the running lane and have a look on their face like this is the worst hotel they have ever stayed at.

The kumbayas
The kumbayas: the ones who travel in groups of 5-7 friends and love to mosey around the track holding hands and blocking every lane of traffic. 


About three miles into training I had encountered the above mentioned patrons several times. It was very crowded that Saturday morning and I had just dodged another kumbaya group. A little boy from a soccer mom thought it would be funny to block my path and keep jumping into my evasive maneuvers. This was my turning point, I got angry. I looked and waited until his mom wasn’t looking and then I plowed the little darling over. After I turned the corner I encountered another burnout runner who attempted to cut me off. Now my temper flaring and adrenaline pumping I outran her and she never caught up the rest of the morning. I finally felt the runner's eye of the tiger. Who knew the key to it would be anger?
I will tell you how week two went later

Do you think any fat slob can run a marathon? What's your opinion?


  1. Feel the anger, young Kirk. Let it consume you.

  2. I love this. I love that you have named the characters at the track. I have a few favorite characters at the gym.

    I think I agree that any fat slob can get through 26.2 miles. When I was in Scouts we did the 25/10 which is 25 miles in 10 hours. I did it with only minutes to spare, but I did it. I think actually running for the whole marathon is something that only true athletes can do. Good luck! I'm sure you'll dominate.