In the name of Art (part 6 of 6)

Our final was supposed to be an illustration of a costumed figure in a similar setting to the character prior to the 1900’s. I decided on three different choices: Rasputin, Stonewall Jackson, or Porter Rockwell. What can I say...I love drawing pictures of hairy men. 

My indecisiveness was wasting time so I defaulted to Porter Rockwell. Porter has been in most of my artwork for other art and drawing classes I took before this one.

The background is actually traced from a photograph Laura took in Copperton, Utah. I used tones of blue in every color on this picture to help add to the midnight feel of it. My teacher loved the uniqueness of my project. She said “Everyone else picked beautiful people in elegant settings and you picked a butt ugly guy in a graveyard. There is definitely a story here, what is it?” I was short for words because there was no story. I just randomly put images and colors together.

The funny joke to this painting is this headstone was actually traced from Porter’s headstone in the Salt Lake cemetery.

I am debating on whether or not to enter one or more of these into the next Springville art show. What do you think?  Are these showroom worthy?

In the name of Art (part 5 of 6)

In any art class you take in college they sooner or later make you do a self-portrait. We were required to film ourselves with light hitting our face in an obscure way and to only draw the negative space to it. Instead of getting a current photo of myself I got an old sketch a friend drew of me back in high school. My teacher made me alter it because she said “it doesn’t look like you.” My hair was significantly longer from when I was in high school so I put longer hair on the sketch. This was all done on Adobe Illustrator.

In the name of Art (part 4 of 6)

We had to do an animal for our next project. Picasso did a bull once so I decided to do my own spin off on a cubist bull. We were supposed to get the entire animal in the picture (no cropping) so I broke his horn and gave him big testicles. I hated how the color turned out for this one but my teacher loved it. Oh well, at least I got an A in the class. After this, a fellow classmate and I vowed to always hide male genitalia in every one of our pictures for the rest of the semester. See if you can spot them in future pictures.

In the name of Art (part 3 of 6)

The room painting was assigned next. This one was supposed to be all in cubism. We were supposed to pick a room in our house and paint it like Picasso. Picasso once said, "Good artists borrow, great artists steal." You may notice that the fireplace looks like it could’ve come out of a Tim Burton movie. I think Tim Burton is an artist as well and I might have gathered inspiration from him.

In the name of Art (part 2 of 6)

For my second project I had to make a second design following the same rules as the first and then paint over it with “soft brush strokes to give it a cloudy structure." The trick behind soft brushing is to use more water with your paint. You can see at the top where it dripped off the board. What do you think of my color arrangement on this one? Too much?

In the name of Art (part 1 of 6)

One of my last classes I had to take to graduate was a 2D design class. In other words, 2D design is the art of abstract things, like cubism. The best way to describe this class’s concept was to make everything warped and unnatural. I told a confused classmate to think of it like drawing a picture, drinking Robitussin, and then retracing it all from memory. Who’s to say it looks like crap because it’s in the name of art. This class mostly helped us grasp a better understanding of Pablo Picasso’s work.

This was my first project for the class. I had to paint a design that was asymmetrical and didn’t repeat itself anywhere. The color scheme had to be complimentary colors that look good together. To add a quirky twist to it, when I completed the piece I turned it upside-down. What do you think?

Sandwich Champion Retires

There is a humble little sandwich shop here in Orem called Sensuous Sandwich. The building looks ghetto but I like the taste of their bread and sandwiches more than Subway. They have a challenge to all who dare take it. The challenge is called the 24 incher challenge, where you have to try to take down a two foot long sandwich in 30 minutes or less. If you can do this and not die they will reward you with a free t-shirt which is an eternal coupon. Every time you wear your shirt with pride at the store you get a free drink. You also get your picture taken and your picture will join the other champions on the wall of fame in the store. When you spot your picture you can write your time on it as well as anything else you wish to say.

The first time I tried this challenge was on my birthday in 2008. I was so nervous but ate like a horse and pulled off the time of 4 minutes 22 seconds! Do you think that is impressive? When they took my picture I wrote my time, and “I did it for Steve.” (He's my father-in-law who wanted to call my bluff.)

The second time I did worse. It was on my birthday in 2010. I still got the t-shirt but my time was 5 minutes 13 seconds. I didn’t stick with my methods of taking down food in a hurry. I may or may not reveal my methods of speed eating on this blog depending on the interest in the replies.

The third and final time was last month. I brought my brother out with me so he could try this challenge as well. I am proud to say that this last time I did the challenge I broke my own record with a new personal best time of 3 minutes 41 seconds! Now that I have done the challenge three times and have received three Sensuous Sandwich t-shirts and have broken my best time. I am going to retire from the 24 incher challenge unless someone reading this blog can beat my time best time.  I still go there to enjoy a tasty lunch every now and then.

If you think you can challenge my score let me know I always love friendly competition.

Pediophobia, or fear of Dolls

Pediophobia, or fear of dolls, is relatively common. It is believed to be the fear of humanoid figures, or things that look like they have a soul. Some people are afraid of all dolls and stuffed toys, while others fear only a specific type. Dolls that talk or move, made of porcelain, old-fashioned china dolls, or old mangled ones are especially common targets of fear.

Pediophobia is what I believe my family has. Earlier this year my mother was babysitting my daughter while Laura and I were at work. My mother shows love by always having to give things to us. This time she gave my daughter an old Sleepy Time Ernie (Sesame Street) doll.

This doll was an old toy I believe one of my siblings received when they were little for Christmas or a birthday or something like that.  It is animated in a way that it interacts with you. If you sit him up he says the automated phrase in Ernie’s voice, “I feel great!” if you squeeze his left hand he then says, “I am sooo sleepy, I need a nap.” He then sings himself a lullaby and begins his sleep mode, which is snoring noises and a rising and falling chest. Cute huh? Why would this be creepy?

Well, the fact that you can’t turn him off and so if you move him at all he will say, “I feel great!” is kind of creepy especially when he says this when no one is in the room.  I promised Laura I would get rid of him by giving him to my brother on his birthday. I forgot. The fact that this doll talks to you without command or coercion in that automated soulless voice can really startle a person. I was just waiting for it to be in our room someday watching us or having it say something else random like. “I am going to wait until you are sleep so I can strangle you” or “I have a shiv.” Something like that.

Just tonight Laura and I were in the other room working when we heard Ernie spout off again non-stop. No one was in the room with him and no one had touched him for several weeks.

I grabbed the possessed doll shoved it into a DI bag and made a swift delivery to the Provo DI store. So if anyone is looking for a slightly possessed demonic toy doll you are welcome to buy him.

Another situation like this occured seven years ago: I really love Halloween and I love to collect decorations for the season. I once had an automated laughing skull which had glowing red eyes that would look around the room and it would laugh maniacally. When Laura and I were first married, I decorated our apartment with all of my spooky decor and I would make sure to turn everything off--including this skull--every time we went to bed. One night at 3 am, I heard that spooky laughter coming from our living room! A. I had turned the thing off, and B. that skull is motion activated...so what set it off?! Needless to say, that skull also found its way to DI the next morning.

I don't think I have a serious and chronic case of Pediophobia, only with an animated object that has a mind of its own. What is your opinion on this subject?

Who was Emo?

I love the Salt Lake cemetery in the avenues of Salt Lake City. It is full of almost every famous and historical Utah Mormon pioneer, outlaws, prophets, jews, big business tycoons and much more. There are so many stories and legends you can investigate there that could take you decades to cover.

Today I will talk about my encounter with Emo. Emo is the one of the most popular attractions in the cemetery because as a child I was told that Emo is the grave of the first wizard and devil worshiper in Salt Lake City. They say he would curse the neighborhood with hexes and other forms of witchcraft, you could hear demonic cries and incantations coming from his home at odd hours of the night. The local residents killed him by burning him at the stake. After completely cremating him they put his ashes in the caged window of the stone monument shown below. Around the 1950’s the urn was cracked and broke into two big pieces spilling the contents of the urn all over Emo’s grave and all around him as well. Some say it was vandals, some say it was Emo himself.

They say if you go to this grave preferably after dark and walk around the headstone three times chanting “Emo Emo Emo” once you have completed this ordeal quickly gaze into the broken urn and you will see the horrid scowling face of Emo himself staring back at you with his eyes glowing red! This is pretty much Utah’s version of bloody Mary.

I read a disclaimer from The Salt Lake City Cemetery do not try this. Anyone caught after hours in the cemetery will be arrested and prosecuted. The grave is located on the south side of the cemetery just east of P street very close to the public road. 

Crimson Eric from findagrave.com states:  Who can say why the story of "Emo" became associated with his grave? Whatever the origin of the fable, the truth is that Jacob Moritz was an honorable man, a respected contributor to the life of Utah."

Jacob Moritz was a German immigrant that moved to Salt Lake and started a very successful brewing business. He was very sociable in society and did a lot of charitable things. When he realized his health was declining he wanted to travel to Europe hoping the fresh air would do well for him. He died while in Europe of stomach cancer in 1909. Some rumors say he is buried there in Germany. Some people say that his wife brought his ashes home to Utah; some people say that Moritz's grave in Salt Lake isn't a grave at all, just a monument erected by his family in his honor and that the urn is just a place for flowers arrangements.

Whether it’s a grave or not I was dieing to see it. Finally after searching the cemetery for a few years I was able to catch the cemetery office open at one of their inconvenient times and sheepishly asked the secretary where Jacob Moritz. “Who?” She said I repeated the name less timidly.” Oh you mean Emo! He’s right over there.” I found the “grave.” My personal reflections were that this place had definitely seen a lot of visitors. The urn was hard to reach since it is stuck behind a steel gated window. I noticed that other visitors had tossed things into the broken urn stuff like a finger nail polish bottle filled with some sort of a liquidy substance and a ton of dimes, nickels, and pennies. I don’t get the connection between so called devilish site and excessive pocket change. If anyone can enlighten me on this I would appreciate it. I didn’t try the chant, one, because it was day light, and second because I’ve seen the movie “Candy man” one too many times. Other than that my whole Emo experience was somewhat boring. Have you seen “Emo’s Grave?” I would love to hear about your story as well.